I haven’t been the most talkative person online these past few years. I use to willingly share my life with the internet, but I’ve been trying to live my life outside of cyberspace. Being in a new city has pulled me away from social media and into more creative spaces and discoveries. I’ve spent the last year or so educating myself and learning that honesty is the easiest path towards creativity.
I also spent the past year having an existential crisis. I spent my time in Philadelphia going by Jo Pincushion and trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be. Punk rocker, gogo dancer, YouTuber, movie prop. While Jo Pincushion, was me–it was also a way for me to separate myself from my audience. I’m learning this is a terrible approach. Art needs to be honest. Which I guess is why I’ve been more silent online. I’m genuinely trying to be honest with what I do, and that’s not easy.
In the middle of my 2016 existential crisis, the country I love turned into a giant psychological warzone. The presidential race pitted friends and family against each other, and once Donald Trump got into office reality really ceased to exist. Violence around the world seems to be increasing, and our planet is falling apart under our feet. As a person living with an anxiety disorder, this isn’t the best environment to flourish in. I found myself beat down by the move, the loss of my identity, the constant fights with my family, and the fear of not knowing what is going to happen in The United States.
So I did the thing I usually do when I’m in the middle of a crippling depression. I create. I decided that it was time for me to get back in the saddle and use these shitty feelings to make something. So I’m coming back to podcasting. This time I won’t be talking about blow jobs and comic book conventions. (Sorry) I’ll be talking to a few of my friends about how they feel about the state of the world, and if they think it’s ending too.
I’ve already had a few great conversations with Rodney Anonymous, Tibbie X, Pat House, and Nikki Black. This podcast is helping me get back into the groove of creating again–and it’s also helping me talk through my feelings with my friends. I’m having honest conversations with really smart people, and I know that people are going to disagree with some of my opinions…. but that’s part of being honest, isn’t it?