One Direction: Oldsville, Population YOU

One Direction: Oldsville, Population YOU

Congratulations.  You’re old.  Yep, that’s right.  Your time of relevance either has passed or is slowly slipping from your grasp.  Remember when your parents used to say. “That was big when I was a kid!”? Well, prepare to start saying it yourself, cause boy bands are back.

Meet One Direction.  Some of you may have heard of them, and the rest of you will soon know their teenage charms.  They’re young, they’re fit, they’re cute, and DAYUM do they know how to dress.  To top things off these young gents are British.  Yeah, we’re talking full out Beatlesesque British Invasion shit.  A few weeks ago I had no idea who these kids were, but local stations started promoting One Direction’s mall tour (publicity stunts)across America.  Sounds like the big wigs in the music business are banking on this gaggle of Biebers to kick tween pop up a notch and shoot us backwards in time.—to a time where people like Britney Spears and N*Sync reined supreme.


Sure, boy bands have been around forever —and they really haven’t gone away all together.  There are peaks and slopes when it comes to boy bands.  The Jackson 5, New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, and N*Sync have certainly made their mark in music history, and has respectively lead the way for a small boy band eras.  One Direction is the ignition to the 2012 boy band explosion!  Once these songs filter into your kid’s iTunes and Mainstream Radio’s Payola proceedings— they will not be stopped.  They’ll be in your brains, on your TV, and in your standard Teen Rom Com trailer.

So, do we fight it?  Do we stand up and say, “No! This reminds me WAY to much of 1999, and I’m not ready to feel old right now!” Or do we just—go with it?  Yes, we’re older, but we’re  wiser.  Maybe this time around we can sit back and watch as boy band after boy band is dangled before the faces  of hungry teenage girls, sing along to the terrible lyrics, and place our bets on which pop stars are going to come out/go crazy/get addicted.  Make a game of it.  Instead of rejecting it, embrace it!

Know that it’s going to be alright.  We’re going to go into this boy band black hole and  come out of it unscathed.  We’ll dust off the sugary sweet goodness that is teen pop, and start dying our hair and becoming fond of the color black.  Loyal to our new obsession—which will naturally be Rap Metal.

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